A book about typewriters ... created by AI?

Oh, cool, look what I just found on Amazon. It seems that another typewriter collector has spent countless hours distilling his first-hand experience of writing machines into a helpful guide. I must add it to my library!

But wait ... a five-bank portable whose keys are marked with smeary squiggles? What's with that withered rubber return lever on a tiny stem? Yep, it's an AI-generated picture, and not a good one, either.

That looks like a real Woodstock on the back. But what's this? The text talks about "the fascinating world of antique maps"!

The book description on the Amazon listing is more pertinent, but it provides a different title:

Step back in time and immerse yourself in the world of vintage typewriters—a world where every keystroke carried the weight of history, and every machine told a story.

"The Timeless Legacy of Typewriters" is the ultimate guide for collectors, enthusiasts, and anyone captivated by the charm and craftsmanship of these iconic machines. From the birth of the typewriter in the 19th century to its resurgence in today’s digital age, this book offers a comprehensive exploration of the typewriter’s evolution, cultural impact, and enduring appeal.

Discover the most iconic models and the innovators behind them, learn the secrets of typewriter mechanics, and master the art of restoration and preservation. Whether you're a seasoned collector or just beginning your journey, this book provides invaluable insights and practical tips to help you build and care for your collection.

But this book is more than just a guide—it's a celebration of the analog experience in a digital world. You'll reconnect with the tactile pleasures of typing on a vintage machine, explore the vibrant typewriter community, and find inspiration in the timeless legacy of these remarkable tools.

With its beautifully designed cover and rich, engaging content, "The Timeless Legacy of Typewriters"is a must-have for anyone who appreciates the artistry, history, and nostalgic allure of typewriters. Whether you're looking to expand your collection, deepen your knowledge, or simply enjoy the stories behind these machines, this book is your key to unlocking the world of vintage typewriters.

Join the movement. Embrace the legacy. Start your journey today.

"Beautifully designed cover"? This is amusing. And doesn't the whole text sound ... stereotyped?

As we research Neal Parker, we find that he's also offering books about collecting keys, cameras, and yes, antique maps. The pictures on the covers of all these books are peculiar. 

How exactly would those curlicues open a lock?

What a fascinating jumble of nameless cameras with enigmatic parts.

Seems this cartographer was into his cups when he tried to draw those lines of longitude and latitude.

Every book offered by Mr. Parker comes with some five-star reviews. When I check out those reviewers, I find that they've posted many fawning reviews (example 1, example 2). Real people with no critical judgment? Real people who are making a few pennies as shills? Bots? Who knows. 

The Amazon book-reviewing system is breaking. So is the system on Goodreads, which is owned by Amazon. I was recently invited to join Shepherd, an independent site that offers book recommendations by actual human authors. I'll keep you posted on that.

But some genuine readers have purchased and read Neal Parker's books. They post reviews like this:

One area where I really felt it would have benefited from more, especially due to the nature of the topic, is imagery. The book has zero so if you need examples to be able to understand some of the concepts that are being explained, you're not going to get those here.

This book is really more of a list of tips for the amateur picker. It was lacking in pictures of the actual cameras though, except for the cover photo.

The book has a lot of useful info, but the writing feels a bit flat, almost like an AI wrote it. I was really hoping for some pictures of the cool cameras mentioned to make it more engaging. 

So, I wanted to like this book, but it reads like it was written by ChatGPT. No real personality. Plus I was really hoping for images of the cameras to go along with the text.

I'm not about to pay for one of these volumes, and opinions about whether prose was generated by AI can't be 100% certain, so I won't make any claims about the prolific Mr. Parker. I invite you to judge for yourself.

But I'll say this: these days, anyone can spend a few minutes and zero dollars to create a book, and with a little more time and trouble (but at no cost) you can offer it for sale on Amazon for, say, $8.99. You don't even have to read your "own" book before you start raking in the bucks.

Hey, I think I'll "write" a book about collecting radios! ... 

It took me about two minutes to generate a cover on Midjourney. I used the prompt "book cover for a book about collectible radios, photo showing a variety of collectible antique radios, with title at top 'Radio Collecting' and author name at bottom 'Richard Polt'"; then I selected the best image.

ChatGPT gave me the following blurb in seconds in response to the prompt "Write a one-paragraph promotional blurb for a book about collecting radios":

Discovering the World Through Radios: A Collector's Journey is the ultimate guide for enthusiasts and newcomers alike who are captivated by the charm of vintage and modern radios. From the crackling transmissions of early crystal sets to the sleek designs of mid-century transistor models, this book explores the history, artistry, and engineering behind iconic devices that connected the world. Packed with stunning photographs, expert tips on finding and restoring rare radios, and stories from passionate collectors, this book is both a celebration and a practical resource. Whether you're a seasoned hobbyist or just tuning in to the world of radio collecting, this book will inspire you to explore the airwaves and treasure the devices that made them accessible.

Generating a book-length text wouldn't take long, I'm sure, though I've never done that.

We are all going to have to develop better judgment and mindfulness as a tsunami of AI slop rushes at us—just as humanistic education is under assault for being "impractical." O tempora, o mores.*

* Here's a Wikipedia article on this phrase. (How long before Wikipedia, a rare island of responsible collaboration on the Internet, is also overwhelmed by slop?)

New Loose Dog Press book: Ludd Light by Albert Goldbarth

From Loose Dog Press—my little publishing enterprise that includes the Cold Hard Type series and Lucas Dul's The Williams Typewriter—comes a delightful collection by award-winning, typewriter-wielding poet Albert Goldbarth.

Cover painting by Skyler Lovelace

This volume gathers Goldbarth’s musings on the charms of the obsolescent and the perils of the new. Witty, insightful, and moving, Ludd Light offers a wide selection of poems, an essay, and a story that get us thinking about the gains and losses that come with change.

Author photo by Michael Pointer

Albert Goldbarth has been publishing poetry for over half a century. He has received the National Book Critics Circle Award, a Guggenheim fellowship, three fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts, and awards from the Poetry Foundation. Avoiding all computers, he writes by typewriter and uses postal mail.

Ludd Light is yours for only $10. It makes for thought-provoking reading and is an excellent gift for anyone who enjoys typewriters and has a healthy skepticism about our current world. Order here. 

The Lilliput children's typewriter

It's been over a month since I posted on this blog, and my 48 posts for 2024 were the lowest number since I began in 2010. So it goes. I've been very busy with academic projects, and the upcoming semester may be my busiest ever: five conferences and a new course to teach! But before the crush comes, I'm getting a little time to play with typewriters while the snow drifts down outside my window.

I got a rare Gloria portable, made in Italy in 1928-29. I won't discuss it here, since my story about it will be coming out in the next ETCetera, but I'll give you a glimpse.

I can tell you more about the Lilliput that was donated to WordPlay Cincy and will be sold to raise funds for the organization. This is a kids' typewriter—I suppose I shouldn't say "toy," since it really does write—made in England, I think around 1970.

It's an attractive, metal-bodied little typewriter that comes in a cute case.

The three-bank keyboard should be familiar from portables of the 1920s and earlier, and from our own phone keyboards.

One less-than-obvious feature is that the shifts can be locked by pushing the shift lever away from you, into the body of the typewriter, when the lever is depressed.

Shifting takes some strength, as there is no spring assist. Here's the typewriter in lowercase and Fig positions.

The ribbon cover tilts forward (it can't be removed):

Under the cover you find what may look like normal ribbon spools, but they're not. This round plastic piece seems like it should rotate, but it doesn't; it's a stationary cover that is held onto the shaft by a cotter pin (not shown in this photo).

Under the plastic cover, there's a 7/16" ribbon that's wound around a core. It is not easy to wind it on; I imagine children crying and parents swearing. You can see how dirty my hands are—after cleaning.

Another thing that may cause some curses: when the typewriter is in its case, the space bar is below the lip of the case base, so it's awkward to type. To remove the typewriter, you have to unscrew one screw in the middle of the bottom of the case.

Here is the very simple escapement. It makes a loud rattle as you return the carriage. 

If you prefer a silent return, you can also hold down the big carriage release lever, seen on the right in this photo.

You advance the paper by turning the platen knob. Needless to say, there are no refinements such as a backspacer, tabulator, or ribbon color change. The typing experience is, well, strenuous. And the results?

Although I won't be writing my next novel on a Lilliput, I do give this little device credit for its durability and good looks.